#she is starting to find burps and farts funny so it's all really coming together

[numinous-queer]

let’s hope the social worker asks no follow up questions...

Sola has just gotten into Toy Story, and will NOT stop calling Woody “Booty”, I’m screaming

if I try to correct her, she gets toddler mad and doubles down: “BOOTY! BOOTY MOVIE!!”

[jobean12-blog]

Good morning Jo! I was wondering if I could send in a request - I received embarrassment today. I was wondering if you could write Bucky x overweight!reader, she keeps losing her bladder each time she sneezes or coughs because of her weight and some asshole agents announce it in front of the whole team, embarassing her. Bucky reassures her that it's completely okay and nothing to be ashamed of? Hope this made sense! Thank you so much and wish you a beautiful day ❤

Human After All

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 1,185

Summary: You and Bucky have been training together for some time and it’s clear you both like each other, what happens when some asshole agents say the wrong thing and Bucky hears it...

Author’s Note: Hello my sweet anon! Thanks so much for this request and I’m so very very sorry to hear that anyone would be unkind ever and especially over something like this. Everyone, and I mean everyone has had a situation like this happen to them at least once...pees, farts, burps, us girls with period stuff! It’s just the human body and the way things work! I do hope this makes you smile and thanks for your patience! Have a beautiful day! Thank you all for reading and much love always ❤❤❤

Warnings: Fluff, sweet and soft Bucky, flirting fun, protective Bucky! and some angst but Bucky fixes it all, don’t worry :) and hopefully you giggle at his story! 

“Come on, doll, punch it like you mean it,” Bucky urges, standing on the other side of the bag with a determined look. Setting your stance and pulling back you land a string of solid punches that has Bucky yelling with pride. “There she is! Nice work! Keep that up and no one will be messin’ with ya’!” Letting out a deep breath you grab your water bottle and take a long drink. “Thanks Buck, you’re the best.”

The two of you have been training together since you started with the avengers and it was clear you had fallen for the super soldier. He seemed to reciprocate your feelings, always flirting but very much a gentleman.  You loved training with him because he pushed you both physically and mentally and never made you feel like you couldn’t handle whatever he threw at you.

“What are we gonna work on next?” you ask while the two of you wipe down and clean up the equipment. “I’m thinking we might want to take it to the ground, you know work on some techniques in case you get taken down at any point.” Nodding excitedly, you try to hide your blush at the thought of rolling around on the floor with him. “Sounds great!”

Once everything is cleaned you head out together. A few agents are coming in as you two are leaving and just as you’re about to say hi you stop dead and place your finger under your nose, trying to stifle a sneeze. It only works for a second and then the sneeze overtakes you. You cover your mouth and squeeze your legs, saying ‘excuse me.”

Bucky smiles your way with a “bless you,” but quickly turns away when he hears the snickers of the other agents. You can feel the tears start to blur your vision and you try to hold it together. “Oh no, did you wet your pants again!” one of them says snidely, narrowing his eyes. “Oh god, we better get out of here before she pees on the floor,” the second one remarks, giving you a dirty look.

Before you have a chance to defend yourself you hear Bucky’s low growl and his heavy footsteps as he stalks toward the two of them. “What they fuck did you just say to her?” he seethes, his metal finger pointing at the first guy. He backs himself up into the wall with his hands up, looking like he might pee his pants himself.

“Uhhh, nothing, nothing. I was talking to her,” he says, pointing to his friend. He turns his deadly glare her way, “I hear you say something too. Stop lying to my face.” The two of them are now shoulder to shoulder and wide eyed. You’re watching the whole thing and both falling more in love with him but also wanting to run and hide.

“Bucky, it’s ok. They aren’t worth it. Come on.” He ignores you for the moment, getting in their faces, “I swear, if I ever hear you say another word to her that isn’t something nice you’ll be off his team and you’ll have to deal with me. No one speaks to her that way.” They shake their heads up and down mumbling apologies over and over as they back away. “Sorry, so sorry, we didn’t mean it. We promise it won’t happen again.”

Bucky takes a step toward them and they run half up the steps. “It better not, or else!” They run off and Bucky turns to you, immediately softening as soon as he sees your face and the fat tears rolling down your cheeks. “Oh doll, come here.” He holds out his arms as he walks toward you, wrapping you up tight when you meet his chest. “It’s ok. They are assholes. I’m sorry they said that to you.”

He continues rubbing your back soothingly and gently rocking back and forth until you calm down. When you can finally speak you look up into his eyes, “thank you. I’m just so ashamed.” He smooths the hair from your face and brushes his fingers over your jaw. “Nothing to be ashamed about beautiful, it happens!!! Actually, I have a really funny story that’s kind of similar, if you’re up for a laugh.” Finding your smile once again you say, “I’d love to hear it.”  He takes your hand as you walk together up the steps and out of the gym.

“So, one-time Steve and I were on this double date at the diner. We had just finished eating and Steve and I were really having a good time teasing each other and telling old stories. Well, Steve really got me going with one and I was laughing so hard I let out a loud fart. And I don’t mean the kind you can cover up. It was bad. Needless to say, we never saw those girls again and I’m pretty sure Steve brings it up the story any chance he gets.”

You’re just staring at Bucky and he starts to get nervous, his smile turning down into a frown. “I know it’s not exactly the same and no one made fun of me for it except Steve, but I just thought it would make you smile. Our bodies do this kind of stuff, it’s totally normal.” He’s talking a mile a minute and really getting panicked. You hold it back as long as you can but finally let out the loudest cackle, clutching your stomach and bending over.

“Oh my god! I would have LOVED to see that.” You try to stop laughing but the second you do and look at him you start all over again. When you finally get ahold of yourself Bucky has a devious grin and you suddenly feel like you’re in big trouble. “Oh, so you do think it’s funny huh. Just wanted to see me sweat?” he croons, lifting his hands and inching closer. “I’m glad I could make you laugh.”

Without another word his fingers are at your sides and he’s tickling you mercilessly. “I love making you laugh,” he says, dropping you to the floor carefully while continuing his tickle assault. “Bucky, please,” you say between fits of giggles, “you’re squishing me.”

He relents and pulls his hands away and you quickly realize the position you’re in. “Hi,” you breathe out, his face now inches from yours. “Hey,” he says back, smiling soft before his eyes dip to your lips. His own meet yours in a soft kiss, tentative at first but when a moan leaves the back of your throat, he loses control and deepens it.

When you pull away for air, you’re both panting heavily. “Wow. I’m so glad we didn’t practice ground techniques yet. Now I can keep you here for a while.” This time you chase his lips and kiss him hard, grabbing hold of his hair and combing your fingers through it. “I don’t mind at all, but I have to admit, I’m really looking forward to the training, especially if we’re going to be in positions like this a lot.”

@aesthetical-bucky @bugsbucky @buckyandbowties @bucky-on-my-mind @book-dragon-13 @buckys-broody-muffin @buckys-minty-breath @buckys-henley @breezy1415 @eurynome827 @hiddles-rose @hawksmagnolia @hailmary-yramliah @ikaris-whore @itsunclebucky @jhangelface0523 @jewels2876 @kaosera @lorilane33 @lokilvrr @littleredstarfish @loricameback @littledarlinhavefaithinme @mushyjellybeans @marvelgirl7 @marvelandotherfandomimagines @nano--raptor @addikted-2-dopamine @randomfandompenguin @pinkdiamond1016 @sallycanwait68 @tuiccim @tales-of-spring @the-wayward-robot @yansi1923 @emilylyoness @imgaril-lindru @hopefuldreamers-world 

[coco96]

LDAF - JB Romantic

Bare Left Arms (Bucky Barnes X Fem!Reader) Request: ... people have the names of their platonic soulmates on their left wrist/arm and the names of their romantic soulmates on their right wrist/arm ... R has REALLY long list of platonic soulmates ... Bucky ... isn’t on her left arm list, he assumes that it’s because he’s unlovable ... when Bucky fully lets her in for the first time ... then they get each other’s names on their right wrist ...

Losing Almost Everything (Clint Barton X Daughter!Reader) TRIGGER WARNING: ATTEMPTED SELF HARM Other warnings: Spoilers for Infinity War, death Request: Clint barton’s oldest daughter from a previous relationship. She’s enganged to bucky when the snap happens and goes into a deeper depression when she finds out from her dad and natasha that laura and her siblings were dusted and clint and natsha both stop her from harming herself just in time.

Old Thoughts (Bucky X Daughter!Reader) Warnings: Coming out, mention of homophobia and not being accepted, yelling Request: Hi! Would I be able to request a Bucky x daughter where he finds out she’s a lesbian and maybe isn’t so accepting of it at first but at the end he’s understanding/accepting and just rlly fluffy? If you don’t want to do it it’s totally fine

Anniversary announcements (Bucky X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Mentions of past abusive relationship and swearing. Request: … Bucky and the reader has been dating for a long time and one day they discuss for something stupid and Bucky move his arms in a strange way and the reader gets scared (because of the movement, not because she is affraid of him) and Bucky gets very sad and the reader try to explain him that she is not affaid? Like a lit angst with fluff. Hope you could understand it..

I’m Here (Bucky X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Claustrophobia, panic attacks Request: Can you write one where Bucky and the reader are ok with each other but there’s some tension thrown around? Tony decides to make them work out what ever it is and lock them in a small room together. The room ends up being too small for the reader and she falls to the floor hyperventilating and Bucky tries to snap her out of it while cussing out stark cause he knows they’re on speaker.

Inspiration (Bucky Barnes X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Mention of past serious accident Request: … Bucky Barnes x reader where she was recently recruited after him and she has a similar prosthetic leg or something (you pick) and they bond over their prosthetics? Thank you so much!! 💕

You Should Know (Bucky X Male!Reader) Warnings: Bucky’s past Request: Hey! Could you please write a Bucky x male reader one shot where they’ve been dating for a while but the reader doesn’t know that he’s dating the Winter Soldier so Bucky tells him? Maybe some angst and fluff?

Bad Day (Bucky X Fem!Reader) Warnings: minor swearing once Request: … reader has had a really rough day at work and is really frustrated and when she comes home Bucky accidentally makes a joke that just sets her off? Can it please be really fluffy at the end? Thanks in advance!

Sisterly Assistance (Bucky X Male!Reader) Request: Can I request a Bucky x T’Chala’s!Brother!Reader where Reader is older than Shuri but younger than T’Chala… He was taking care of Bucky with Shuri, and developed a crush on the White Wolf… He decides to tell Shuri about it and she plays match maker with them, because she knows that Bucky likes her brother, too…

Good Enough (Bucky Barnes X Asexual!Reader) Warnings: Self-consious reader Request: An asexual gender neutral reader x bucky where the reader breaks down bc they think they arent enough for bucky? Xx

Movies (Steve X Fem!Reader X Bucky) Request: … Just where they’re all just snuggling together with the reader between the both of anthem because she’s the smallest + they’re talking about stuff thats been going on with the avengers; theyre all just really comfortable with each other + care about each other a lot. …

I Still Love You (Bucky Barnes X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Spoilers of Civil War Request: With the stark reader and Bucky one, can you do where he blames himself for the death of readers and Tony’s parents, but she still loves him, even though Tony doesn’t allow it. Eventually Tony and reader have a heart to heart and gives her his blessing. Bucky puts aside his guilt?

Learning To Love (Bucky X Fem!Reader) Request: … Bucky and the reader are in love but he avoid her because he hasnt remember how to be with a girl. So the reader confronts him and he tolds her that he is affraid of hurting her and fluff (love your fic, your amazing) <3

Part Of The Family. (Bucky X Tomboy!Reader X Reader)     |     Part 2 Request: Could you write something where Steve and Bucky live in a house and they have a spare room and put an ad out for a roommate? Reader is a college student with a crude sense of humor and she takes the room. She thinks farting and burping are hilarious and on weekends the 3 of them get together with lots of beer and sports on the tv. Because she’s one of the guys they say she’s the best roommate to ever have.

Pretty Woman (Bucky X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Mention of cat-calling Request: … Bucky x reader by the song “Oh Pretty Woman"by Roy Orbison?

Late Night Truth or Dare (Bucky X Reader) Warnings: Alcohol and drinking Request: … the avengers with reader play to thruth or dare (they had been drinking so its more funny) and they said funny things until they ask bucky and he confess he is in love with the reader, and all ask them to kiss? …

I Can’t Leave You Here. (Bucky X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Drug mentions, prostitution mentions Request: ... Bucky is dating a ‘normal’ girl but she’s never taken him to her place cause she’s embarrassed that she’s very low income? One day he follows her home and realizes how bad off she really is so he asks her to move in with him at the tower?

I Can’t (Steve X Fem!Reader X Bucky) Request: … ‘Having a secret crush on both Steve and Bucky’ would include and I was wondering if you could do an imagine based on that with fluff and angst maybe where they try to make her choose and she gets upset and doesn’t choose so she ends up with either neither of them or both of them. Thanks in advance.

Starbucks (Bucky X Male!Reader) Request: … reader is a barista at Starbucks. When the reader is on his lunch break, he’s meets Bucky for the first time after offering him a seat at his table (because all the tables were full). They hit it off really well and become good friends. Later on, Reader notices that Bucky starts coming to have coffee whenever reader is on break so they can hang out.

Memories In A Nightmare (Bucky X Male!Reader) Warnings: Nightmares, harm to character. Request: ... reader who has pretty galaxy/space powers calming down his boyfriend bucky? Extra fluffy! Maybe in his mindwahsed state bucky hurts the reader but reader judt loves bucky and is like no this isnt u!

A little Persuasion (Bucky X Reader) Warnings: Angry/ upset Bucky, flirting, jealousy. Request:  ... Bucky is in love with the reader but wont confess, so Pietro flirts with the reader trying to make Bucky jealous and it works out, and Bucky confronts Pietro in front o the reader and lot of fluff?

Surprise! (Avengers X Reader) Warnings: Sad emotions Request: … reader thinks everyone forgot their birthday but they were just planning a surprise party for them? …

Finally Complete (Bucky X Wife!Reader) Warnings: Infertility Request: ... They’re married and she finds out she can’t have a baby. So him and tony (her big brother) go adopt a little girl to surprise her. She gets in from work to see her super soldier snuggled up to a 4 yr old girl. She jumps up extremely excited and asks if your her new mommy. Reader is so happy she’s in tears.

Liebling (Bucky X Fem!Reader) Request: ... the Avengers make fun of the reader because she’s german and one day she pretends to insults them in german but actually she gives them cute nicknames? Maybe some Bucky x reader because he knows he’s got a special nickname? ...

I Brought Flowers (Bucky X Reader) Warnings: Mentions of PTSD and illness Request: Bucky X Reader

I’ll Kill Him (Avengers X Fem!Reader)    |     Part 2 Warnings: Mentions of Domestic abuse. Request: Reader is the Avenger’s assistant and like a little sister to them, and one day she doesn’t come into work and Bucky goes to her house to make sure she’s OK and finds out she’s in an abusive relationship and helps her.

Sleep (Bucky X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Mention of violence and fighting Request: ... reader kinda acts like a cat and is constantly tired, no matter how much sleep she gets! ... the reader have aerokinesis ...

Unfortunate Reunion (Bucky Barnes X Reader) Warnings: Spoilers of CW, Black Panther, swearing and death of character Request: Bucky angst here, maybe a break up? Or a reunion years later after a break up? Maybe reader death? Thanks!

New Member (Bucky X Fem!Reader) Request: ... Bucky x mutant reader? Maybe she has fire powers? She’s very shy when she first goes to compound too ...

[two-ofa-kind-blog]

Memowees

Guten tag. We just wanted to share with all of you our top 3 favourite memories together in no particular order😊 because (as you may already know) we are bffs.

Ps - I know how to spell memories it was just for effect ��.

1. The boy on the coach

S has touched on this before so I’ll go into some detail. Before we start I’ll just inform you that I’m going to call the boy in question “Madhead” because basically he’s a madhead as you’ll find out.

One day on the way home from school (about 2 years ago) S and I saw Madhead crying by himself facing the window on the coach. We were like what’s happened? Is he alright? Ooh no. Because obviously we were friends with him. Madhead was sat opposite us across the aisle so we were debating whether to ask if he was alright, finally we decided on yes. But who was going to ask? I said that S should do it as she was sat on the outside (closest to Madhead) and they were closer friend than I was with him. She sat by him and asked him if he was alright and he basically told her to get lost. She even asked again if he was sure he didn’t want to talk about it but he said something like “you may as well go back to your seat because I’m not going to tell you.”

After this Madhead completely stopped speaking to us and we were so confused. For me this was the first time he’d stopped talking to me but for S this had happened 3 times before. But as we weren’t in the wrong we weren’t taking it so one day we started ranting aloud while he was there saying: I’d he dumb? It doesn’t even make sense. Stuff like that.

Anyhoo fast forwarding about 5 weeks this is when the horror started. We like to call it, Phase 1.

-Phase 1: All of a sudden out of nowhere he starts burping in our faces. Farting by us. Throwing chewing gum about. It was so disgusting😷. Bear in mind he still wasn’t talking to us.

-Phase 2: He was still acting like an idiot but not as bad more like just kicking our chairs but he did start talking to us but just like making jokes and that.

-Phase 3: The horror finally ended. We were friends again. He was talking to us normally again. I cannot express to you how relieved we were.

To this day we still laugh about it although we don’t speak to him anymore (he’s gone weird and just changed). But looking back this is such a funny story now. Not saying I’d want it to happen again though😶. I just feel sorry for S it happened to her 3 times.

2. Horrible History

This has been brushed over before in a previous post so I thought I’d elaborate.

When we got put into sets in history S and I were in the same class. The first teacher we had was Mr C and he had the biggest problem with us (mainly me), most lessons he would:

-Tell us to stop talking when the whole class was basically talking.

-Move me to the front of the class all the time.

-Blatantly ignore us when we had our hands up to answer a question or ask something as in he actually looked at us and would ignore us.

I know this all sounds really bad but we did actually have jokes with him, he was quite a decent teacher and his lesson were quite fun despite all of that.

The second history teacher we had was Miss V. Mr C left the school so she took over our class instead and she was so funny although we had to do loads of controlled assessments with her . I remember this one time S was using some vaseline (she doesn’t go anywhere without some) and Miss V walked over and goes “arr napalm” (if you know you know) and we just burst out laughing😂 bearing in mind we were learning about the Vietnam war at the time.

So all the class got bad grades in their controlled assessments (don't ask😂) so we got given our third teacher Mr M and he was the funniest one yet. As I’d been in the Athletics team I’d trained with him before so I was the only one he really knew in the class so he’d always come over to talk to S and I (as we sat together).

But anyway these are the reasons he was so funny :

-He’d always come over to talk to us and joke about with us

-He would make alot of jokes in the class and because we were quite loud we’d laugh the loudest so it came to the point were he’d make a joke and actually look at us to laugh😂.

-When we watched videos and he stood at the back of the class (where we sat) and because we’d be talking he would shine his whiteboard laser at us to get us to stop talking.

-He’d always be singing around the classroom which was hilarious.

That’s just a few of the things that happened in that class but he’s probably our favorite teacher not to mention he’s practically the reason we got A’s by the end of the year😊.

3. Bus life

Once upon a time S and I went for a shopping trip. To get up to the shopping centre we caught a bus, let’s call it the ***.

I caught the bus first because the bus stop is right outside my house then a few minutes down the road S got on the bus. But S was still trying to use her out of date pass😂.

The driver caught S and she started asking him how much a child fayre was eventhough she already knew. Then she calls up the bus to where I’m sat laughing asking me if I have a pound. I walked down and put the pound in then she starts paying the rest of the money in1p’s😂. At this point the driver got really fed up and said to her “you’re gonna take forever doing that just go” and gives her the ticket.

After this we go and sit down and this man at the front of the bus is staring at us and smiling😶 and he did that the whole 45 minutes of the bus journey. Talk about creepy.

But this isn’t the reason this story’s funny it’s funny because my girl (S) stepped on the bus in Timberlands, with a DKNY purse and all her name branded clothes but can’t pay a simple £1.15 for a ticket😭 eventhough she had the money.

To this day we don’t catch the *** bus just incase we bump into the driver again and S doesn’t try and use out of date passes anymore😂.

Well we’ve reached the end of this post, hope you liked it. Let us know what your favourite memowees are and why. Byee.

-P

www.two-ofa-kind.tumblr.com